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So much for emotional intelligence, she’s starting to think. She just hasn’t been able to demonstrate the kind of performance her company is looking for.
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It’s strange, though - even with her positive outlook, Esther is starting to feel stuck in her career. And Esther indeed counts EI as one of her strengths she’s grateful for at least one thing she doesn’t have to work on as part of her leadership development. Her manager feels lucky to have such an easy direct report to work with and often compliments Esther on her high levels of emotional intelligence, or EI. She’s always engaged and is a source of calm to her colleagues. She is a problem solver she tends to see setbacks as opportunities. Kind and respectful, she is sensitive to the needs of others.
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Whether or not a child arrives at school on the first day of kindergarten with these capabilities depends greatly on how much her parents-and preschool teachers-have given her the kind of care that amounts to a "Heart Start," the emotional equivalent of the Head Start programs.Esther is a well-liked manager of a small team. The ability to balance one's own needs with those of others in group activity. This is related to a sense of trust in others and of pleasure in engaging with others, including adults. The wish and ability to verbally exchange ideas, feelings, and concepts with others. The ability to engage with others based on the sense of being understood by and understanding others. The ability to modulate and control one's own actions in age-appropriate ways a sense of inner control. This is related to a sense of competence, of being effective. The wish and capacity to have an impact, and to act upon that with persistence. The sense that finding out about things is positive and leads to pleasure. A sense of control and mastery of one's body, behavior, and world the child's sense that he is more likely than not to succeed at what he undertakes, and that adults will be helpful. The report lists the seven key ingredients of this crucial capacity-all related to emotional intelligence:6 1.
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“A child's readiness for school depends on the most basic of all knowledge, how to learn. Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships 'Although humans inherit a biological bias that permits them to feel anger, jealousy, selfishness and envy, and to be rude, aggressive or violent,' Kagan notes, 'they inherit an even stronger biological bias for kindness, compassion, cooperation, love and nurture – especially toward those in need.' This inbuilt ethical sense, he adds, 'is a biological feature of our species.” Harvard's Jerome Kagan proposes this mental exercise to make a simple point about human nature: the sum total of goodness vastly outweighs that of meanness. (The news, however, comes to us as though that ratio was reversed.) And if for the top value you put the number of benevolent acts performed in a given day, the ratio of kindness to cruelty will always be positive. That ratio of potential to enacted meanness holds at close to zero any day of the year. Now for the top value you put the number of such antisocial acts that will actually occur today. Make that number the bottom of a fraction. Imagine the number of opportunities people around the world today might have to commit an antisocial act, from rape or murder to simple rudeness and dishonesty. “The argument has long been made that we humans are by nature compassionate and empathic despite the occasional streak of meanness, but torrents of bad news throughout history have contradicted that claim, and little sound science has backed it. Socrates's injunction "Know thyself" speaks to the keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one's own feelings as they occur.”Įmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ The sudden awakening of the samurai to his own agitated state illustrates the crucial difference between being caught up in a feeling and becoming aware that you are being swept away by it. Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for the insight. "That," the monk calmly replied, "is hell." His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from its scabbard, yelled "I could kill you for your impertinence." The monk replied with scorn, "You're nothing but a lout - I can't waste my time with the likes of you!" “A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell.